My friend, Kel, loves matchmaking. He’s not particularly good at it, nor has he had any successful pairings. But, he never lets that deter him.

In the 4 years I’ve known him, he’s tried to pair me with 5 guys:

• John, who regularly parked next to me at my old job
• Mark, who I looked up to like an older brother
• Ray, who Kel thought “had a thing for Asian girls”
• Tim, who somehow always ended up sitting near me during lunches
• James, who’s probably gay

He’d always make up all these situations that he wanted me to recreate. Situations that he thought would somehow make us fall in love, like in the movies. As you can tell, he has a very active imagination. Of course, I’d play along and help him concoct these elaborate setups, but eventually he realized I’d never really put them into practice. I’m pretty sure one of them had us fighting zombies :!: and somehow ending up dancing in a Coke commercial. Like I said, active imagination… and not rooted in this reality

Well, he eventually gave up on the guys since I was clearly not attracted to any of them. The only one I admitted to finding attractive was James, the gay one, but I figured he was a safe choice since nothing would ever happen. He agrees, but for some reason, he’s still holding on to this one…